But with that out of the way, let's go to happier things! Like the next episode of Durarara!! The usual warnings are in effect: beware spoilers through ep 9 of Durarara!!, minor Doctor Who spoilers, and swearing. This episode includes many mentions of porn, but there all images are worksafe! 95 images this week.
Phone: Welcome to SexyChat! Please put in your six-digit passcode to gain to continue.
Namie: Come on baby, momma needs this... *beep beep boop beep bip boop*
Phone: I'm sorry, your account has been deactivated. Please access our website to reactivate it.
Namie: What the fuck?
Namie: Someone must have messed with my account... but who?
Choppy Neck: Seiji's great and all, but I wish he'd stop talking about Doctor Who. I feel like our whole relationship hinges on the fact he thinks I look like Amy Pond.
Seiji: Uh-huh? Yeah? Oh! That's what I thought!
Seiji: Good news. He says the color of my shirt IS Tardis Blue.
Choppy Neck: Ughhhh... I mean, fantastic!
Seiji: Yeah! I'm going to get some drinks. You want a diet soda?
Choppy Neck: Yeah, sure! That'd be great!
Choppy Neck: A diet soda? Does he think I'm getting fat? Oh no... what should I do?
Choppy Neck: Please don't leave me! I'll lose weight!!
DURARARA 9: YEARNING AND LOVING
Scientist John: Yes ma'am? You called for me?
Namie: Did you cancel my subscription to SexyChat?
Scientist John: Yes ma'am. I also deleted you're porn folders. All of them.
Namie: You— WAIT, WHAT?
Scientist John: Ma'am, it was getting in the way of you work. You've spent the last four days surfing the net for porn! I had to intervene!
Namie: FUCK. YOU.
Namie: I'm surrounded my incompetence. Huh... thinking of incompetence...
Namie: Look at Seiji! HE CAN'T EVEN OPEN A BOX! What a retard! ...but sooooo cute! Awwww, I love him so much!
Namie: Look Seiji! A dolly!
Seiji: Uuuu I sw dis in Doctah Whoo!
Namie: In what?
Namie: And that's near where his obsession with that show began.
Namie: From there, it just grew...
Namie: What the—?
Namie: Grandpa, is that a head in a jar?
Grandpa: Hoo hoo hoo! Why yes it is!
Namie: Grandpa, you're a sick and twisted individual.
Namie: Years later, I showed the head to Seiji.
Namie: So, what do you think?
Seiji: Oh wow! It reminds me of something from Doctor Who!
Izaya: Hey. What do you need?
Namie: My underlings trashed all my porn. I want it back. I also want them punished. Oh, and I think my brother is missing.
Izaya: Wait... you want me to get you... porn? Whatever... Which of those do you want first?
Izaya: Ya got it.
Namie: Wait, wait, wait, I guess locating Seiji should be first. He tends to run into poles and kill things when he's left to his own devices.
Izaya: Seiji... about yeh tall, obsessed with Doctor Who?
Namie: *sigh* Yeah, that's him.
Izaya: That makes it easy. See, he has this blog, "Things that remind me of Doctor Who." And that freak— I mean, your brother, updates all the time. See? He just updated seven minutes ago. "This bench looks like the one that Rose sat on in the 2005 series." It'll be easy to find him.
Izaya: What a stupid thing to spend time on. He should spend his time more wisely... learn something meaningful... like Chegogi. Best game EVER.
Namie: I'm not sure those pieces belong to the same game...
Namie: I remember the last time I left Seiji alone too long...
Namie: Oh? You're at the apartment? Okay, I'm coming.
Namie: Seiji, what are you up to?
Seiji: Eatin' ramen.
Namie: That's so cute.
Namie: Wait, is that instant? You should eat higher quality stuff than that!
RA DU RA RA!! RA U DE RA RA DU RA RA RA DU RA RA RA RA RA DU
Choppy Neck: This looks like a good spot. *tickity tickity* "Dear HealthLvr10, My bf thinks I'm fat. Help!!"
Choppy Neck: Seiji, I love you, but I'm worried about what you think about my body...
Shizuo: Hey, Celty... looks like a couple of kids are having a lover's spat.
KITTY BIKER: Hmmm?
KITTY BIKER: W-wait a sec!
KITTY BIKER: Hey! Stop a second! I invited you to my party, but you didn't show up. I was really hurt. And... hey, wait a sec... I think—
Choppy Neck: AAAAAHHHHHH!!! NOOOOOOO!!!
Shizuo: Celty, what's wrong?
KITTY BIKER: I think that she might be...
Shizuo: No way, she's got your head? That cra—
Shizuo: Ah. My legs are bleeding.
Seiji: LET GO OF MY LOVE!!!
Shizuo: Did you just stab my legs with PENS?
Seiji: DON'T MESS WITH ME!!
Shizuo: You just wrecked two perfectly good pens!
KITTY BIKER: Need some help?
Shizuo: Naw, I'm cool.
KITTY BIKER: Ah, okay...
KITTY BIKER: GET BACK HERE, HEAD!
*RUN RUN RUN RUN THUMP!!!*
Mikado: Owwww... Oh man, the zombie girl! I mean, are you alright?
Mikado: Holy crap, is that KITTY BIKER?
Seiji: Come back here, KITTY BIKER! I'll get you! I HAVE A PEN WITH YOUR NAME ON IT!
Shizuo: Where do you think you're going?
Seiji: L-LET ME GO!
Shizuo: Uhhhh... no.
Shizuo: You can't beat me. Just don't try anymore, you'll get hurt. I admit you have a lot of spirit, but...
Seiji: I'll get hurt?
Crowd: Oh wow, the KITTY BIKER!!!!! WOOOOOWWWW!!!! KYAAA~
Bug-Eyed Girl: Omg omg omg!!!! KITTY BIKER!
KITTY BIKER: Oh dear lord!! You have BUGS FOR EYES! Bleeeeeehhh!!!
Shizuo: Please tell me that wasn't supposed to me your trump.
Shizuo: Feh. Pathetic.
Shinra: So you think you found your head, but some high school student ran off with it?
Shinra: That sounds silly, Celty.
KITTY BIKER: I think it was Mikado. I think he took my head.
KITTY BIKER: Of course... my head was attached to a body, so it's more like they ran off together.
KITTY BIKER: I can't believe he would do such a thing. After he came to my birthday and everything!
Shinra: Maybe he didn't like your cooking.
Shinra: KIDDING! KIDDING! It tasted great. You've really improved.
KITTY BIKER: It's like my head didn't want to come back to me though... Why do you think that would be?
Shinra: Maybe it doesn't want you... it's old body, since it has a new one.
KITTY BIKER: Really? ...but... well... hey, if I got my head back, could you put it back on for me?
Shinra: DOES THIS MEAN ANOTHER AUTOPSY?
KITTY BIKER: Well, I— Yeah, okay, whatever.
Namie: Hi Seiji, I'm so happy you're back.
Namie: It's okay, we'll get her back. It shouldn't be that hard to find her.
Shinra: Got a question, Celty... why were you with Shizuo this afternoon?
KITTY BIKER: .........just chatting. Really.
Namie: What's wrong, Seiji?
Seiji: My Tardis Blue shirt doesn't looks Tardis Blue in this light.
Seiji: *sniffle* Why must the world turn against me like this?
Namie: Goddamn Doctor Who. *sigh* Well, at least that's one problem taken care of.
Scientist John: I hope she's forgotten about the porn intervention...
Namie: I know what would cheer me up— Oh wait, SOMEONE deleted all of it. And hid my physical copies.
Namie: Do you know why I've called you here?
Security Man 1: No ma'am.
Namie: I need you to recover some things for me... You might be able to find some of them in... Akihabara...
Security Man 3: ....ma'am?
Mikado: So this is my place... I modeled it after Shinkurou's place from Kurenai. Do you like it? Here, I'll make some tea...
Choppy Neck: Oh, I... don't watch much anime.
Choppy Neck: *tickity tick tick* Come on, HealthLvr10, give me an answer!
Izaya: Awww, no one is on the chat. I'm so lonely. D= Wait... what's this? Someone asking for health advice?
Izaya: THIS IS THE GREATEST!!!
Izaya: They asked the right person!
Mikado: So, um... why was KITTY BIKER chasing after you?
Choppy Neck: Well I.. Oh, oops!
Mikado: Oh don't worry, let me clean that tea up.
Choppy Neck: Seiji, where are you?
NEXT TIME, ON DURARARA!!
Mikado Being Chased!
Eating on the Roof!
Bros B4 Hos!
All this and more, on the next Durarara!!
Seiji, Seiji, Seiji... you're a lotta bit messed up. The pen attack amused me, but not as much as Shizuo easily taking Seiji out. =D