97 images! Boob warning! Heavy use of inappropriate language! All that and more! Ahead on this post!
Please note that the language I use in this is not meant to be offensive to anyone except the characters in this story! =3
(Cue Ominous Music) Out in the wilds of Ikebukuro live many strange, strange creatures! Here you can see the 100 yen man, a public menace, ready to beat those who come near with his oversized coin!!
Here, two seemingly normal peopl—
Lady: Hey, do you want to see this picture I took of the KITTY BIKER?
Uhhh, yeah okay. Wait a sec, let me go to my normal voice!
Shinra: Yeah, okay! Show me it!
Shinra: That picture sucks.
Lady: Well you're a retard.
Shinra: So, you two, know anything about the KITTY BIKER?
Dude 1: DUDE DUDE HELLS YEAH THIS GUY HERE TOTALLY HAS A SEXY FIGURE OF HER.
Dude 2: DUDE NO I SWEAR I DON'T! ...DON'T LOOK AT ME, DUDE!
Bug Eyes: Yeah, everyone knows about KITTY BIKER.
Shinra: Do you have bugs for eyes?
Bug Eyes: Shut up, retard.
Voice 1: So I hear that some retard is making a movie about KITTY BIKER.
Voice 2: I thought it was about strange beings in Ikebukuro...
That One Girl: KITTY BIKER? Uhhh.... No... never heard of her... I swear... and I totally don't have a huge crush on her. Honestly.
Shinra: So there you have it! KITTY BIKER info from everyone around town!
Shinra: And this is your adorable Shinra, signing off!
KITTY BIKER: I hope no one is making dumb movies about me again...
DURARARA!! 4!!!!!! ALONE WITH ONLY THE SHADOW FOR COMFORT!
Shinra: I'm an unlicensed doctor, so I deal with lots of yakuza smokers who have issues with their tattoos.
Shinra: This is my home. It's pretty sweet.
Shinra: And I have a sweet roommate.
Shinra: AWWWWW YEAAAHHHHH
Shinra: Hey Selty.
KITTY BIKER: Call me KITTY BIKER, loser!
Shinra: Why would I do that, Sellllttyyyyy?
KITTY BIKER: You're a fag.
Shinra: Oh Selty, you're so mean to me!
KITTY BIKER: Die in a ditch, perv.
KITTY BIKER: Now don't bother me. I need ME time.
Shinra: Oh, girls will be girls~!!!
Shinra: It's okay, I'm going to talk to my online friends!
KITTY BIKER: Set my adorable new wallpaper ♥, time to see who is online...
Shinra: HIIIII SELTYYYY!!!
KITTY BIKER: GODDAMMIT!!!
KITTY BIKER: I'm gonna send him a virus...
Shinra: What's this? "Click here for sexy headless action?"
Shinra: Silly Selty, those tricks are for kids!
KITTY BIKER: I'm blocking you. You're off my friendslist.
KITTY BIKER: Please, I'm begging you, he's driving me mad. I don't care how you do it, just get him to stop bothering me!
Izaya: Well, you do live with the guy... Maybe it's time to find your own place?
KITTY BIKER: Like a headless girl can get a place easily. Here, payment for your services. Just do SOMETHING, please!
Izaya: You know, I think your stress might be due to an imbalance in your diet. Perhaps you should—
KITTY BIKER: I don't have a head. I don't eat.
Izaya: Oh yeaaaahhhhh.
KITTY BIKER: I have to run. I have reports of a pervert that needs taking care of. Can I trust you to take care of the matter we discussed?
KITTY BIKER: Oh, look at the time. I have to go!
KITTY BIKER: I'm counting on you!
Izaya: I've got it covered.
KITTY BIKER: And lay off the health food chatter for a while, people are going to get annoyed when you criticize the way they live so much.
Izaya: Well, if you say it then... maybe.
KITTY BIKER: Not here...
KITTY BIKER: Not here either...
KITTY BIKER: Where is he? I wanted to talk to him before we went into fl—
KITTY BIKER: —ashbacks. Dammit.
KITTY BIKER: Damn I looked good. Those were the days. Just me, my head, and my headless horse pulling my seriously tricked out carriage.
KITTY BIKER: But now I have my motorcycle and... hey whoa, the flashback went away!
DU RA RA RAAAAA!!!!!!!!
KITTY BIKER: Oh! The flashback has returned!! Let's see... why did I ever think it was a good idea to sleep on such damp ground. I got a cold from that! Do you know how miserable it is to have a cold and not be able to blow your nose? DO YOU? It's horrible. Absolutely horrible.
KITTY BIKER: Luckily, my headless horse, Donnchadh, soothed my misery a bit.
KITTY BIKER: After a while, I got tired of having a carriage, Donnachadh and I decided to have a change in our lives. We needed a hobby.
KITTY BIKER: So we turned to LARP.
KITTY BIKER: I think I made a pretty sweet knight, but no one wanted to let us join them, so we turned to other means of entertainment.
KITTY BIKER: I found a broken motorcycle and decided to use my awesome mechanical skills to fix it. Hey, who do you think tricked out my carriage? That's right, I did.
Shizuo: Wait, what?
KITTY BIKER: Oh sorry, I didn't think anyone was listening.
KITTY BIKER: Anyway, where were you? I went to the park at the agreed upon time and you weren't there.
Shizuo: Oh, sorry. I took a nap.
KITTY BIKER: A.... nap....
Shizuo: Hey look, I got that info on the perv in the park for you. And hell, I'll even go with you.
KITTY BIKER: Okay, fine.
Girl: Oh wow, you made me look so pretty!
Girl 2: Mister, you're incredible! And your art sorta looks like Kei Tome's!
Mister: I'm good because I spend all day
Shizuo: Perv. Twelve o'clock.
Girl: Thanks Mister! We've got to go now!
Mister: Good bye, you delicious girls!
Mister: I do love it when they walk away... the view is... exquisite.
Mister: Erm! Uhm! I'm just a simple artist!
Mister: What? You say I'm a "lying lecherous lolicon pervert?" Oh, d-don't be silly!
Mister: I love ALL women! See? Look at my sketchbook.
KITTY BIKER: ...........
Shizuo: Okay, let's see...
Shizuo: Hey, KITTY BIKER! Is this you?
Mister: That picture? I remember it well...
Mister: I was hiding alongside an old road in Britain hoping to see some panties when I heard a carriage approach. Suddenly this stunningly beautiful albeit headless woman rode by me! I was entranced!
Mister: I thought it would be a good story... "The Headless Horseman"... but everyone I pitched it to laughed at me.
Mister: So I just draw her... over and over and over again.
Mister: Here in this park, day after day.
Mister: Well, between drawing pretty girls, of course!
KITTY BIKER: This guy is too weird. I need to take a walk.
KITTY BIKER: Damn, it's getting late. I guess I should go back home.
Shinra: SELTY!!! Welcome home!
KITTY BIKER: Ughhh....
Shinra: Did you do anything fun today?
KITTY BIKER: I hired someone to take care of you.
Shinra: Oh, like an assistant? Selty, you shouldn't have!
Shinra: I am perfectly able to take care of myself... although I wouldn't say not to a little assistance from you.
KITTY BIKER: I hope you die screaming in an endless fire.
Shinra: Oh, cute little Selty! I remember our meeting well!
Shinra: You were cosplaying as a knight and you had a sweet bike, but you were hiding in the hold of the luxury ship I was on.
Shinra: I was overjoyed to see another cosplayer, I had been cosplaying a Czeslaw Meyer myself. I saw you change outfits LIKE MAGIC, and I was entranced!
Shinra: I ran straight away to my father to tell him what I had seen.
Shinra: Being a man of science, he completely believed me.
Shinra: So he went into the hold to see you. And ask you for something...
Shinra: It turned out that he was a huge fan and wanted an autograph, which you kindly gave him. But that wasn't enough! He wanted more of you!
Shinra: So he strapped you on an operating table and cut you.
Little Shinra: Daddy, I'm pretty sure she doesn't like this.
Daddy Shinra: Well that's GOOD! AHAHAHAHAHA!
Daddy Shinra: You like House, right? You've learned basic medical training from watching it, right?
Little Shinra: ...I've only seen the first two seasons...
Daddy Shinra: Okay... then you can think of it like Trauma Center, if you'd like. Come on, Doctor Shinra! Your patient needs you!
Little Shinra: Well, I do like Trauma Center...
Shinra: Oh, those were the days.
KITTY BIKER: I need something to take the edge off this never-ending pain I feel when I'm around him... if only I could drink...
Shinra: Selty! SEEEELLLLTTYYY! Do you want to talk about how you felt when we first met?
KITTY BIKER: I'm going to make you suffer the same pain you inflicted on me, you fucking faggot.
Shinra: Oh Selty! ♥
Shinra: I hear you draw naughty pictures of girls.
Mister: I... don't know what you mean by that.
Shinra: Oh come on, let me see.
Mister: Well... I don't see the harm...
Shinra: YOINK! Your porn is mine now, old man!!
Mister: You little bastard!!!
NEXT TIME, ON DURARARA!!!
DELICIOUS ICE CREAM
NEXT TIME, ON DURARARA!!!!!!!!
I didn't mean to make Shinra that annoying or for KITTY BIKER to hate him that much, but things sorta snowballed. Hey though, an episode about KITTY BIKER! How awesome! It was a fun and interesting episode, but I do wish we had seen a few more characters. I guess the lovely KITTY BIKER time was worth it though!!
Hey DRRR lovers, do you think it's Celty or Selty? Because I think... logically, Celty might be right? But it said Selty on her computer screen... but then again it also said Sinra for Shinra... .....I guess he could be Sinra though... huh... what do you guys think?