Lord Ace of the Fictional Lands (ensuing) wrote,
Lord Ace of the Fictional Lands
ensuing

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My lulz-worthy afternoon of epic and anger

This will be long. Very long. And broken up into strange paragraphs. It shall be filled with yelling and attacking children and general angry all around. It'll also pretty much be copy-pasted from my conversation with Nur.



My parents went on a vacation this week. That puts me in charge, because I'm the oldest. I'm a pretty kind taskmaster, at least I'd like to think so. If my parents let things slide, I guess I should too. Even if they're stupid and shouldn't be let go.

So this morning my little sister Alexandra and I were discussing dinner. said, "well, I have an orthodontist appointment today at 2:30, so I was thinking of swinging by Le Asian afterwards, since they're pretty much right next door. Don't worry, They have 'normal' food there too." She asks me what I was planning for dinner, and I told her I was thinking about making vegetarian tacos. And tells me she doesn't like tacos. So I ask her why. And she says she doesn't know. WHAT'S NOT TO KNOW? Tacos can be modified any which way (in my opinion). I was trying to find out what she didn't like about tacos so we could change it, but that didn't work, so I let it drop. Then she started being pissy about it... "NO, IT'S OKAY. YOU have tacos, I'll make... soup or something." Jeez, stop being a matyr, we'll figure out something. But, if I can't figure out what she doesn't like, how can I be sure that ANYTHING I make will be okay for her?

Well, still, we could figure out what to eat, then I could go my Le Asia after my appointment. Their practically next to each other, so it's not a problem and saves me the trip of going to Nob Hill, which is the exact opposite direction. But, my sister decided to be a pain. She had to go to Nob Hill. She said some of her friends worked there. Why? I don't know. It wasn't our sort of "chat with Audrey thing," and it's not like we could have gotten discounts... plus, she obviously had no idea if they'd be working there when we went, but I think she's against Asian-ish foods, so going to Le Asia is a sin or something. So, whatever. I wanted to go to the library anyway, and it's right near Nob Hill, so not a huge deal.

So I bike to my appointment, then I bike over to the library, but on my way I pass this woman who tries to tell me something. I had my iPod on (I was on the Iron Horse trail, so I figured it was safe enough), so I couldn't hear her, but I go a little further and see splatters of water on the ground. Whatever. A little further and SPLASH! A water balloon shoots past me! I see three boys laughing from a bit off the trail, so I twist Hermes I (my trusty bike) sharply and go barreling at them. Hermes I hits a snag and they laugh, but before they can think I've jumped off and am stomping towards them. I reach them and say, "Give me the balloons." They laugh and say no. So I say, "GIVE ME. THE BALLOONS." And they look pretty nervous (cue my personal inner laugh of glee). One of them, the one I was mainly looking at laughs nervously and chucks one straight at me, hitting me. I'm angry, but I think I was having more fun trying to make them shit their pants.

They run, laughing, but because they're foolish and totally amateurs, they leave a backpack. I smile and pick it up. "I'll take this, thank-you." And one, a short chubby one goes, "NO NO NO NO!!!!" And snatched it from me. But under it was a roll of duct tape, so I go, "that's fine, this tape will do nicely." He goes "NO NO NO NO!" again and dives for the tape, but I catch him by the collar, twist him around and get him in a neck lock (Let it be know that I was holding him, not trying to hurt him... although I sort of wanted to). The other two boys realize that I have their friend, so they start coming back (at least they're loyal to each other). I grab the chubby kid's water balloon out of his hand, and they one that hit me says "Hey, I hit you with the other one, you can hit me back." And I say, "No. That's fine. You should just be happy I'M the one that got you." All of a sudden, this guy comes from behind and asks, "Hey, did they hit you with a water balloon?" I told him yes, and he said, "They're been doing that all day. =\" He GLARES at them, and I say, "hey, they're just messing around." I let the chubby one go and said over my shoulder as I retrieved Hermes I, "You should watch out who you attack though. You'll get the crap kicked out of you if you don't." And I left.

I biked the rest of the way to the library to see if they had any of the books I was looking for, but came up empty-handed.

So I met up with Alexandra at Nob Hill and we go start to shop. I tell her my awesome story about the punk-kids, but she tells me I'm a bad person for attacking a child. We go up and down aisles until we see the yogurt. She goes, "oh hey, yogurt. Should we get some?" And I go, "Oh yes! I think we should!" So I start grabbing a bunch of coffee ones. She seemed like she wanted some too, so I got six. She looks at me disapprovingly and says, "Annaliese. We really don't need that many." So I tell her. "Look. I can eat a lot of these, and you seem to want some, so this should be fine." She pouts, but doesn't say anything.

We go up and down some more aisles and we come to a barrel filled with wannabe Otter Pops. I look at them, and pick them up and decide to get some. She says, "Nooooo, we shouldn't get those! Let's get Otter Pops!!" So I tell her, "These are cheap. They're probably the same thing anyway." Then she argues with me on price, telling me that Otter Pops are cheaper. Now, Otter Pops aren't expensive, but somehow I doubt that "VALUE POPS" are more expensive than the popular thing. I ignore her and put the "VALUE POPS" in my basket.

We go along. Now, this entire time (really, since the parents left), she's been doing this "adult thing." Like, she treats me as if I was five years younger than her and she's looking out for me. I could probably handle it if she was actually older, but no, one of us is now a college graduate and one of us really just started college. There is a noticeable difference in years there. It's been pissing me off, but I've been keeping my cool. It won't hurt too much to let her do her thing and pretend to be more knowledgeable about things she's actually not. (Well, my pride hurts, but that can be mended)

We walk over to the veggies and she says, "Do we need some?" And I say yes, and go for the peppers. She does this sort of "tut" thing, like a parent to a child going to candy, but screw her, I want my peppers. I get my peppers and decide to go get some bread. So I tell her I'll meet her in the bakery. Bread is obtained, she gets some too, and we go to the register. A man tells us that we can go to line #2, because it's almost empty, but that's the express line and we have too many things. Alexandra tells me this (as if I can't count past ten), but I ignore her and go to the line. When the checkout lady has a moment, I say, "Excuse me, we have over ten items, but a man over there told us to come over here, is that alright?" Behind me, Alexandra does a "tch" sort of thing (at least it seemed), but it doesn't hurt to ask.The checkout lady looks taken back and says, "Of course! Don't worry about it!" And the lady ahead of me say, "How nice of her to ask!!" (My internal self goes "kukuku~") I empty the baskets and Alexandra moves to pay. Buuuuut, I'm the one with money in my account, so I tell her I'll pay. She gives me a distinct "...you?" look, but I push her out of the way as she tells me that, no, it's fine, she can take care of it in a very condescending manner. I have my card swiped and everything quickly and she seems deflated. One of us is making money (for at least a little while longer) and one of us just had odd jobs on campus. I can take care of the food. And, as the older sister, I feel like I should. It's not really a pride thing, I think it's more of a responsibility thing.

We make small talk with the checkout lady and pack up. Alexandra brought a canvas bag, so we fill that up and she puts a lot into her backpack. I take some of the groceries and she demands them. I have my bag too. I can hold some just fine. She demands some items and I give them to her and put the rest in my courier bag. We grab our bikes and head back.


Now here is a questions
You hit a red light and you want to turn right.
You are allowed to turn right.
Do you just go ahead and go through or do you stop and make sure it's clear (yield for any oncoming traffic and all)?

I say stop/yield.

I stopped and Alexandra throws a fit

"WHY ARE YOU STOPPING?"

"Because I'm yielding for any oncoming traffic."

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT."

"Uhhhh, yeah, you do. It's the law."

"NO IT'S NOT."

"Uhhhh.... Yeah. It is. I think I know. I've biked all my life and I pride myself on being a safe biker."

"YOU DON'T KNOW THE RULES OF THE ROAD. GAWD."

Maybe I shouldn't have come to a complete stop, but I definitely shouldn't have gone all the way through like she seemed to have wanted. I sigh and make the turn and bike ahead. There are some points where I like to go really fast because it's hard to tell when cars are switching lanes and at a point the bike lane is in between two other lanes. After that sort of tricky spot, it is a slight hill, so I just let the bike go and coast down. The bike slows and I start peddling again. Suddenly, Alexandra is right next to me. I think she's trying to make a point. I tell her, calmly as I can, "Hey, you should really pull ahead or fall behind, because it's dangerous to ride next to me like that." She glares and goes "I WAS SLOWING DOWN SO YOU COULD GO AHEAD." Never mind that if she was actually slowing down, she never would have caught up to me. She could have easily fallen in behind me or pulled ahead. I wasn't racing. I was going at a nice pace. I peddle a little faster and pull ahead. "Alexandra," I shout back, "You should really pay more attention to the rules of the road."

"I KNOW THE RULES OF THE ROAD!!"

"Obviously you don't."

"YOU DON'T KNOW THE RULES OF THE ROAD."

"ALEXANDRA. I have been biking all my life. You despised biking. You just started biking again six months ago. I think I know what I'm doing. I know the rules of the road. I pay attention to how people drive. I pay attention to how I should bike. I think I know."

"NO YOU DON'T I DO YOU JUST THINK YOU DO."

Okay, now I was pissed off. I had had enough of her mothering me and tsk-ing my faults. She barely knows anything she was talking about. She had been away from home for less than a year. I had been away for FIVE. (minus the first two summers, other vacations, etc) I may not know the secrets of the world, but I think I'm more knowledgeable about it than my little sister. I hold my rage in a bit and go do my usual crosswalk-crossing of Alcosta, she decides to use the turn lane. I have no issues with it (although I doubt she signaled), so I go my merry way and pass her easily because she can't bike all the way up the hill. (Thank goodness I could, or my pride would never forgive me). I stop at the corner to wait for her.

"DON'T WAIT FOR ME!!!!"

"No, I'll wait for you. I don't want to leave you behind."

"NO!!!! DON'T WAIT FOR ME!!!!!"

"ALEXANDRA. STOP ACTING LIKE THAT."

"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!"

"OH? I THINK I KNOW A LOT MORE THAN YOU."

"NO YOU DON'T!!!! GO AWAY!!!"

"OKAY. FINE."

And I bike my merry way. I get home, park my bike, go out to get the mail and she gets home. She unlocks the door and says, "You think you know so much, but you don't." (Pot? Kettle?) And then it dawns on me. Ohhhhhh, she's trying to be independent, but she's completely failing. Noah and I both had actual seasonal jobs by this time, and she's never been hired for anything except small, short-time campus jobs and babysitting. I sigh and tell her, "Look. I know how you feel..."

"NO YOU DON'T!!!"

"...I was like that at your age too."

"YOU'RE SO STUPID."

"And it's all good, you don't need to pretend to be knowledgeable in everythin-"

"YOU THINK YOU'RE SO SMART BUT YOU'RE NOT! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!!!!!"

Oh. That's it. I'm tired of this.

"ALEXANDRA, WHY ARE YOU SUCH A LITTLE PISS? GOD, I TRY TO UNDERSTAND BUT YOU'RE SO FOOLISH!"

"YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT ANNALIESE!!!!"

"NO. YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT. AND YOU'RE A SHITTY LITTLE KID. FINE. ACT LIKE THIS. THIS JUST SHOWS WHAT A LITTLE PISSER YOU ARE. BAAAAAWWWWW I'M ALEXANDRA BAAAAAWWWWWWW."

"SHUT UUUUUPPPP!!!!!!!" *crash* And she breaks a small vase. "AAAHHHHHHH!!!!!"

".....you know, you have no one to blame for that but yourself."

"I KNOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! GET OOOOUUTTTTT!!!!!!! YOU SHOULD TRY TO DO SOMETHING ! GO WATCH YOUR ANEEMAAYYY!! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SAID YOU DIDN'T HAVE ANY MONEY, THAT'S WHY I WAS GOING TO PAY FOR THE FOOD. I DON'T BEAT UP LITTLE KIDS TOO!"

"What? Have no money? I may be losing my work, but I have money. Plenty of money to live off of for a while. And WHO should go sit around? I'm sorry, I might not do a whole lot for this family, but I've been working everyday. YOU'RE the one who has been sitting around watching TV all day."

"GO GET A JOOOOOBBBBBBB!"

"I'm sorry, I have one. But I think you need one."

And then I put my bike away, tried to put the groceries I had away (she took them form me), and came up to my room.

THE END.


I could have been more mature on my end. I really should have, but I've never been really good at these things. It's something i really should work more on. ...I've let her get away with a lot of crap since my parents left. My parents have let her get away with a lot of crap. She really doesn't do anything except watch TV. If she's not watching it on the TV, she's watching it on her computer. I may watch a fair amount of anime, but I do a lot of other things too. Like reading and drawing. Besides, I just watch anime when I take a break from unpacking or work.

Last night, Nur came over and we played RockBand. We named our band the Cutthroat Salamanders. Alexandra whined. Sorry, I bought the game, I get final choice on the band name. Nur and I discovered we could make a fair Kaiji in the game, so me did. We'll have to get him his bomber jacket later. Alexandra was put on vocals and about four measures into the first song nearly started crying because she didn't want to do it. We didn't FORCE her to do it, she was just being a little twit. Her cool friend was over too, so she looked like a retard in front of her friend. Later she was totally into it though, so that's cool.

Ugh. How do my parents deal with such a little brat all the time? I was (and still am to some degree) a horrible brat, but at least I hole myself in my room most of the time. =\
Tags: family, gaming, life, wangst, whine
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