I was a phantom thief. I was a tall, slim, man with long straight black hair often tied up in a ponytail. I was in one mansion, looking for something in particular, when I decided to burn the place down. I knocked over a light or a candle or something, and watched the place start to burn. As I ran outside, I saw the owner's two little girls and I decided I would steal them. Their father came out and I told him I was taking his children. He... didn't really put up much of a fight, but he gave the youngest two large containers of liquid. I think the purple one was poison, and the red one was some sort of medicine for her. I was worried about not getting out of the complex before the fire consumed everything, so I picked up both of the girls and ran. I think they put out the fire, because it never felt like it was actually threatening the house. Huh.
Then my dream skipped forward a bit in time. I had just finished a job and was returning to my really big mansion. I went into the backyard to see seven or eight kids and a bunch of exotic animals. I guess I had stolen more kids at some point. They were all pretty good kids, but they often argued between themselves. One of them, the newest "addition," had been causing trouble, so all the others had to tell me when I got back. The newest child was andyscout, and I have no idea what he did, but I had allowed him to get his teeth dyed blue (wtf?). ...but, he had braces as well, so you couldn't really tell that his teeth were blue. The kids all start bickering again, so I make some loud noises and get their attention. I tell them that if they ever want to be a phantom thief, they'd have to listen up (and behave). My awesome assistant comes out and we showed them some prep stuff, mainly stuff to prepare for wearing a disguise. Yeah, my assistant was really cool and we made a great team.
Later, I got captured (how, I do not know), and while I was in the police station, the kids were trying to break me out, but they all kind of sucked. I contacted my assistant using a radio hair pin I had and told her to take care of the kids, to make them stop trying to save me (because they were just going to get caught themselves), and to return them to their real families.
I woke up at this point, so I guess escaping the cops will have to be something I figure out today. Maybe. I wish I remembered more of the dream. I do remember that one of my sayings was, "Morals and ethics are just things people made to mess me up." Or something along those lines. It was a very interesting, very fun (for the most part) dream.